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Teen Pregnancy Prevention

Tips For Counseling Adolescents On Resisting
 Coercive Attempts At Sexual Activity

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Counseling Teens:                         

Ask questions about unwanted sexual activity.

  • Has anyone ever forced you to have sex?
  • Have you ever had sex when you really didn’t want to?
  • Can you tell me what happened?

Explain the concepts of "consent" and "submit"

  • When a person has sex because they are afraid, it is not consent........it is submission. 

Discuss concept of "coercion."  These are tactics used to   manipulate a person into doing something they do not want to do.

  • Persuasion (I know you really want to...)
  • Put Downs (No one else will ever want you)
  • Guilt Trips (But I gave up going out with my friends! I took you out, you owe me.)
  • Pressure (If you loved me, you would...)
  • Blackmail (If you don’t, I will tell everyone you are a virgin.)
  • Manipulation (You are the only one who understands me. I can’t live without you.)

Provide techniques for being assertive.
For example, have adolescents practice these statements:

"When you ___, it makes me feel___. I want you to___, or I will___.

Encourage teens to look the person in the eye, use a firm voice, stand up or sit up straight, and hold her/his head high.
   

Know the types of abuse in relationships and what you can do to prevent rape.

 Discuss date rape drugs:

  • Rohypnol, GHB, alcohol and other drugs are used to gain access to individuals in order to engage in sexual activity. Use of any of these drugs to manipulate a person into sexual activity is wrong.

  

 Reinforce message:

  • Individuals have the right NOT to engage in sexual activity, or to END sexual activity at any time, no matter what!

  

Working with Victims:  When working with victims of sexual assault, it is important to:

     Do                                             Don't
create a non-judgmental environment                      blame her
believe her, listen to her                                           judge her
give back control whenever possible               second guess her actions
validate her feelings                                                pressure her
offer to help her  

 

REFUSAL SKILLS: HOW TO SAY ‘NO’

  • Just Say "No".
  • Leave. Walk away.
  • Ignore It. Act as if you’re not paying attention.
  • Invent an Excuse. Think of something else you can be doing (based on truth).
  • Change the Subject.
  • Make a Joke.
  • Play Dumb. Act ignorant about how to do it.
  • Act Shocked, as if you can’t believe your friend really said it.
  • Use Delay Tactics: "Not now, I have a headache."
  • Use Flattery: "You’re too smart (too kind, etc.) to really mean that."
  • Take Control of the Situation: "I don’t want to do that now. I want to see my friend at the pizza parlor."
  • Ask Them to Justify why you should do what they want you to do. "What’s in it for me?"
  • Name the Problem and the Consequences: "My parents don’t want me to do that. I would feel dirty if we did". OR "It’s against my principles and I would feel cheap if we did. Besides, I could get pregnant or get AIDS."
     

 

Last Updated 10/21/2009